I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
