I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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