you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
