i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
