I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
