I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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