So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize