That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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