Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
