how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
