If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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