just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
