remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize