Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
