Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
