are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
