I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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