i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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