I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
