He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
