At least make sure they are 18
Why
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
