Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
