That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
