Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Randomize
