He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
