he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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