They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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