Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize