Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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