Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
