I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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