they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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