How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
