Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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