I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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