Dual....:-)
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
