she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize