If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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