It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
