I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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