can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
