i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
