Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize