I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
