My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
