I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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