dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
