pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
