May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize