A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
