Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
