if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i think i have two assholes
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
