And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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