We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
