i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
