It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
