I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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