i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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