My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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