My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
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he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
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It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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