you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize