i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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