dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
