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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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